Hiding from the world today, writing my heart out. These days are rare and I am thankful that I get even this one. Sometimes, writing is the only way I stop myself from saying or doing something that I truly regret. My anger can really bottle up, bubbles of rage that threaten to boil over.
It’s not that I wish that people would do what I say or that things have to go my way. What I wish for is for the vitriol and hate that people spit at me to dial down. I never treat anyone with cruelness and I always send such positivity into their lives. I’m not saying that everyone has to treat me super kind, especially if that isn’t who they are. All I want is a basic level of respect. If they have something to say, even if it’s a complaint, why do they speak with such a clear intention to hurt?
Why can’t they say what they feel with the same respect that I give them? I just don’t want to be someone’s punching bag, but at the end of the day the truth remains: you just cannot control people. And that’s why I write–write everything out. Because it’s still a tough pill for me to swallow–that kindness doesn’t equate someone treating you with the basic level of common decency. You can truly do so much for someone and be guaranteed less than nothing. In these circumstances, I just wish that I could receive nothing back, because it’s less than nothing is so much worse.
My hope is that writing will ease the sting of negativity and that sadness will be replaced with inner strength…