Sparking Joy in the New Year

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I’ve owned Marie Kondo’s books for a while now, but have failed to take the time to read them. I often feel too rushed to curl up with a book. But after enjoying one episode of her new Netflix series, I pushed myself to make time to read. It’s always going to be busy and I no longer want this to be an excuse anymore.

I’m intrigued by Marie’s KonMari organizational method because of its different approach. I’ve never completed any of the steps of KonMari before and sure enough, I’ve never been able to master being organized. If I see myself constantly failing at something, I’m one of those people who isn’t stubborn in the slightest. If I keep screwing up, I’m sure I’m the common denominator and I’m more than happy to abandon everything I know and try something different.

The main discrepancy between my old approach and the KonMari method is the focus. In the past, I would just focus on cleaning rooms. Marie says that this avenue doesn’t work–cleaning rooms is mostly shuffling stuff from one room to another. And this is accurate, as I mainly just stuff things where I can. No surprise, the mess always returns. Nowadays, I just don’t have the time to keep redoing my work, so I’ve just stopped cleaning. I’m sure an outsider would call this laziness, for me it’s frustration. The work I do is undone, it’s my fault it’s undone, and I don’t know how to make it better. I know it’s me, I know I’m not doing something correctly, but I don’t have time to just keep wasting my time.

Hence why I’ve turned to really delving into the KonMari method–to have an expert tell me what to do to get on track. What’s great about books is that the expert can be there in spirit, guiding you on a better path. What I love about reading Marie’s book, Spark Joy is that she is not stating the obvious. Many of her insights are completely illuminating, and I’ve found myself asking new questions about my organizational process.

My biggest question has been: what sparks joy in my life?

Sadly, I don’t have the slightest insight into what possessions give me joy. I’ve always seen my clutter as an enemy, it’s tough to think about it in a positive way. But I see why I have so much stuff, because it’s impossible for me to discern what I really treasure. I can tell that this will be a process and that I’m going to have to work on it every day. Well, at least it’s the new year and I can’t think of a more timely moment to begin a new journey.

Korean Pear Confusion

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Are Korean pears supposed to be this crunchy?

I’m not really sure–they taste sweet and fruity but so, so crunchy.

Like baby apple crunchy or fresh-picked melon.

The flavor is sweet and light (though I’m not getting an intense pear flavor) with a water chestnut-like texture.

Why??

I’ve had these for a few weeks, maybe I messed up?

I’m usually a big fan of fruit but texture really is my thang. I can’t handle weird texture above all else.

Drinking Away Monday

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Yeah, I’m having a hard case of the “Mondays” tonight. Today wasn’t too bad of day, though I’m a bit envious of my coworkers who have a bit of vacation left. Everyone always seems to harbor way more vacation time then I do–all I can do is let it go and drink about it.

Forget them.

I never overdo it with alcohol, so me “drinking about it” is a couple of sips before passing out in last year’s Christmas pajamas.

I am currently enjoying Jim Bean’s Apple Bourbon Whiskey. This whiskey finishes with a nice burn and a slight aftertaste of apple which you can notice. I love the fruity notes at the end and can’t recommend it enough to whiskey/apple fans.

I love those late nights when the evening can just extend forever (or give the illusion of at least). I ran several errands this evening but still got to indulge in a bit of retail therapy and grocery shopping. I made the mistake of going to Goodwill and actually bought several bags of goods that I probably shouldn’t have.

Goodwill is my kryptonite because I have such a curious mind and find everything interest. Stop it mind, just stop it. I can just buy bags and bags of what others would call “junk” because I find it intriguing.

I have a confession to make: I bought a Rolodex. Yeah, a Rolodex *bows head in shame* even the cashier commented on how archaic it is but I really wanted it and it was only a buck! That’s just a glimpse of my mindset and I’m sure you can easily see why I get in trouble at a place that has random, inexpensive goods. And I brought home all of my “treasures” and hid them from sight so the bf doesn’t notice them.

The whiskey is making me real honest tonight. Though my confessions are pretty nerdy and lame like me hahaha.

Receiving Some Big Magic

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An early Christmas present to myself, some creative healing!! 

I don’t think I will ever be able to express my gratitude to Liz Gilbert for her incredible read, Big Magic. 

I am about halfway through the book and have received more “Aha” moments than I can count. I find such connection Liz’s words–because they are so in touch with many thoughts that circulate throughout my own brain. She directly addresses so many of my own negative thoughts about living creativity and she does this in a precise manner. (Ex: my constant worry that I am not original enough). This makes it very clear to me that she has dealt with many of vicious thoughts that I have but she is strong and overcomes them. She doesn’t try to destroy the fear that always shadows the creative, she expects fear but doesn’t allow it to take over.

Her battles with her own insecurities has thought me that there is no level of success that can fully strip you of those fears. They will on some level, always be there. The real sadness comes allowing the insecurities to dominate you, until you lose all ability to create anything. I love writing but also any form of craft, of art.

And I’ve allowed it to nearly all be taken away from, because I was simply too afraid to create. I find that to be really sad. I can’t get those years back but thankfully, I am still alive and have another shot to try. Trying doesn’t mean aspiring for material and financial success, trying means just living a creative experience. I love that Liz reminds us that we are all creative beings and she doesn’t subscribe to that elitist stance that only the most talented artists are allowed to be creative. To be honest, my favorite artists (not that my opinion really matters, I am a true nobody) are the people who aren’t perfect, they are just wholly themselves.

Reading this far into Big Magic, I was touched by how grounded and clear Liz is about living creatively, without having to become that archetype of the tortured artist. I think we need more books like this, and I can’t wait to finish this book and continue being lost in her words. I love the idea of being creative from a healthy place, not hurting yourself for the sake of your art.

#bigmagic

Skipping the Company Work Party

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I just want this weekend to never end. In a weird way, it has stretched past more than normal. It almost seems like it’s been a few more days than two. Yesterday, I was supposed to attend my company work party, but I ended up not feeling up for it.

I don’t mean to be negative but I am really over the encroachment of my personal/professional lives. I do not want to attend anymore work functions outside of fluffing work. The time that I dedicate to my employer is enough and I want my personal time left alone.

Even though I usually feel down when I “miss out” on social gatherings, I really content to not attend. It was nice to just scribble in my journal and figure some things out. Most of the people go anyways because of the lure of money, which means nothing to me because if the statistics of winning goes down every year. Everybody talks about the stupid money, therefore, causing more and more people to go more for a desperate chance rather than enjoyment or letting off steam.

I understand that the company wants to incentivize the party and encourage people to go, but the desperation is obvious and unappealing to me. I would rather see people get together out of mutual affection for one another rather than a selfish reason.

Image credit: pixabay.com

 

A Stressful Holiday Season 2018

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Whew!

I have finally completed nearly all of my holiday shopping–I just want it to be over. This isn’t like me as I do enjoy giving gifts and surprising someone with a present. However, this year, I just haven’t felt it. I have completed the motions, fulfilled my obligations, but I am still waiting for that Christmasy feeling to take over.

The holidays have felt extremely contrived–entirely inauthentic.

I have despised everything to do with it: the shopping, the extra work engagements, the late nights wrapping and scribbling rushed Christmas cards. I want it all to be over, why can’t it just be January 1st, 2019?

It’s weird for me to feel this disconnected, it’s an alien sensation because I am all about any holiday. I usually prefer the break from the normal, boring weeks adulting. It’s such a joy to release my inner child to the movies, songs, and gift wrap.

I think part of the reason I’m off is that I have such a little time for my friends with my current work schedule. I can usually pick a gift for anyone, but this year I’m not sure what to buy anyone. My life is super unbalanced, and suddenly I have to many personal commitments when usually there is nothing but endless emails and fucking traffic.

I think the jump from the work extreme to the holiday extreme is what has gotten me–the lack of any sort of balance. I do not care for busyness, but everything about my life right now is so chaotic and intense. Sometimes, I would give anything to be back as a student sometimes. I had so much free time back then–even with the finals, lazy group partners, and complicated homework.

I just so want this chaotic season of my life to be over.

Trying Out Ramune Gummies

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You know the saying, People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones?

Well, I have my own saying to add: Sugar addicts should not enter candy shops.

Just as deep, right??

It turns out that I was itching for another cavity in life and looked up a local sweets shop that happened to be the largest in the state.

The bf and I headed over and left with a giant bag of sugar ^___^ I was happy to see a solid selection of Japanese candy–as we noticed many of the aisles had old school American candy (such as those candy dots on paper and thin ribbon candy).

I ended up picking out the Ramune Flavor Gummy Candy. As an avid addict of the Ramune soda, I was ecstatic to try out the soda in gummy form.

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Surprisingly, this candy managed to carry a carbonated flavor, and a burst of the signature Ramune flavor (which reminds me of bubble gum) followed by an aftertaste of bubbles.

YUM–extreme yum.

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I removed the gummy in low lighting, it almost glowed tee hee. Give me the glowing alien candy!! 

If you are fan of Ramune, soda, or bubble gum–you gotta have this candy! (They sell it on Amazon too ^___^)