Receiving Some Big Magic

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An early Christmas present to myself, some creative healing!! 

I don’t think I will ever be able to express my gratitude to Liz Gilbert for her incredible read, Big Magic. 

I am about halfway through the book and have received more “Aha” moments than I can count. I find such connection Liz’s words–because they are so in touch with many thoughts that circulate throughout my own brain. She directly addresses so many of my own negative thoughts about living creativity and she does this in a precise manner. (Ex: my constant worry that I am not original enough). This makes it very clear to me that she has dealt with many of vicious thoughts that I have but she is strong and overcomes them. She doesn’t try to destroy the fear that always shadows the creative, she expects fear but doesn’t allow it to take over.

Her battles with her own insecurities has thought me that there is no level of success that can fully strip you of those fears. They will on some level, always be there. The real sadness comes allowing the insecurities to dominate you, until you lose all ability to create anything. I love writing but also any form of craft, of art.

And I’ve allowed it to nearly all be taken away from, because I was simply too afraid to create. I find that to be really sad. I can’t get those years back but thankfully, I am still alive and have another shot to try. Trying doesn’t mean aspiring for material and financial success, trying means just living a creative experience. I love that Liz reminds us that we are all creative beings and she doesn’t subscribe to that elitist stance that only the most talented artists are allowed to be creative. To be honest, my favorite artists (not that my opinion really matters, I am a true nobody) are the people who aren’t perfect, they are just wholly themselves.

Reading this far into Big Magic, I was touched by how grounded and clear Liz is about living creatively, without having to become that archetype of the tortured artist. I think we need more books like this, and I can’t wait to finish this book and continue being lost in her words. I love the idea of being creative from a healthy place, not hurting yourself for the sake of your art.


Skipping the Company Work Party

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I just want this weekend to never end. In a weird way, it has stretched past more than normal. It almost seems like it’s been a few more days than two. Yesterday, I was supposed to attend my company work party, but I ended up not feeling up for it.

I don’t mean to be negative but I am really over the encroachment of my personal/professional lives. I do not want to attend anymore work functions outside of fluffing work. The time that I dedicate to my employer is enough and I want my personal time left alone.

Even though I usually feel down when I “miss out” on social gatherings, I really content to not attend. It was nice to just scribble in my journal and figure some things out. Most of the people go anyways because of the lure of money, which means nothing to me because if the statistics of winning goes down every year. Everybody talks about the stupid money, therefore, causing more and more people to go more for a desperate chance rather than enjoyment or letting off steam.

I understand that the company wants to incentivize the party and encourage people to go, but the desperation is obvious and unappealing to me. I would rather see people get together out of mutual affection for one another rather than a selfish reason.

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A Stressful Holiday Season 2018

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I have finally completed nearly all of my holiday shopping–I just want it to be over. This isn’t like me as I do enjoy giving gifts and surprising someone with a present. However, this year, I just haven’t felt it. I have completed the motions, fulfilled my obligations, but I am still waiting for that Christmasy feeling to take over.

The holidays have felt extremely contrived–entirely inauthentic.

I have despised everything to do with it: the shopping, the extra work engagements, the late nights wrapping and scribbling rushed Christmas cards. I want it all to be over, why can’t it just be January 1st, 2019?

It’s weird for me to feel this disconnected, it’s an alien sensation because I am all about any holiday. I usually prefer the break from the normal, boring weeks adulting. It’s such a joy to release my inner child to the movies, songs, and gift wrap.

I think part of the reason I’m off is that I have such a little time for my friends with my current work schedule. I can usually pick a gift for anyone, but this year I’m not sure what to buy anyone. My life is super unbalanced, and suddenly I have to many personal commitments when usually there is nothing but endless emails and fucking traffic.

I think the jump from the work extreme to the holiday extreme is what has gotten me–the lack of any sort of balance. I do not care for busyness, but everything about my life right now is so chaotic and intense. Sometimes, I would give anything to be back as a student sometimes. I had so much free time back then–even with the finals, lazy group partners, and complicated homework.

I just so want this chaotic season of my life to be over.

Trying Out Ramune Gummies

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You know the saying, People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones?

Well, I have my own saying to add: Sugar addicts should not enter candy shops.

Just as deep, right??

It turns out that I was itching for another cavity in life and looked up a local sweets shop that happened to be the largest in the state.

The bf and I headed over and left with a giant bag of sugar ^___^ I was happy to see a solid selection of Japanese candy–as we noticed many of the aisles had old school American candy (such as those candy dots on paper and thin ribbon candy).

I ended up picking out the Ramune Flavor Gummy Candy. As an avid addict of the Ramune soda, I was ecstatic to try out the soda in gummy form.


Surprisingly, this candy managed to carry a carbonated flavor, and a burst of the signature Ramune flavor (which reminds me of bubble gum) followed by an aftertaste of bubbles.

YUM–extreme yum.


I removed the gummy in low lighting, it almost glowed tee hee. Give me the glowing alien candy!! 

If you are fan of Ramune, soda, or bubble gum–you gotta have this candy! (They sell it on Amazon too ^___^)

Kirby Rement Unboxing-Popstar Night Cinema

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Until running across these adorable miniatures, I had sworn to myself that there would be no more Rements. I love them but I literally have no space–even though they are hardly spacious ha ha ha.

I ended up picking two boxes of Kirby and co at the Popstar Night Cinema. Why can’t I work in this theater?? I can almost imagine this colorful building with a red velvet curtain and plush seating. 🙂 What attracted me to this set was the figure included  with nearly all of the boxes. Something tells me that their popcorn is extra sweet!


I scored a Meta Knight in a plush chair and Bandana Dee at the ticket booth 🙂 I love how Meta Knight’s chair even has a hole in it for his coffee cup. The ticket booth offers both a hole in the middle and bottom of the window for Bandana to sell you tickets 🙂

My only regret was not picking up more but then again, I’d probably have to store them in the kitchen at this point ^__^;;

Yu Yu Hakasho Merch, Yahoo!

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Hello hotness. 

One of my favorite shows is Yu Yu Hakasho–I watched it occasionally as a kid but didn’t understand the full meaning until I recently restarted it.


Me in the morning 🙂 🙂 🙂 

Initially, I remembered vague bits and thought the show was just a pure fighting anime. I couldn’t have been more wrong–uncovering a story full of depth and highly interesting characters. Yusuke’s realization of how his death affects his friends and family reminds us of how death changes loved ones. As a ghost, Yusuke is able to view their grief and struggle first-hand. Now, that’s a little of heavy of an experience for real life–which is why I prefer such contemplation through a television show.

Since the anime came out in 1992, I would never expect much in the way of merchandise. However, during my most recent anime con visit I happened to come across some blind box collectibles. Each box comes with an acrylic character floating over an acrylic stand. I’m usually not a fan of the 2d look of acrylic merchandise however, the chibi aspect of the characters lends itself adorably.


I ended up getting Kurama, who is still Mr. Cool even in flatten form. I hope to get fortunate with some more Yu Yu Hakasho merch. If anything, maybe I can make some of my own ^___^



Re-ment Blind Box: Pokemon Tea Set

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Ahhhh Re-ment miniatures–it’s been too long!

I recently uncovered the Pokemon floral cup collection. I picked this up at a recent anime con and wanted nothing more than to purchase the entire set. Unsurprisingly, I had already gotten into trouble with other purchases and figured it would be wise to purchase just one.

Ironically, what I adored about this miniature was how massive it happened to be ^__^ and how there was so much weight to it. After viewing the entire list of possibilities I could honestly say that I would be happy with any of the “pokecups” that I chose.


Each of the Pokemon adorably complemented their teacup and chosen floral arrangement. If I had to choose, I would say that #6 Mew was what I hoped for most. I was very much in love with the shiny lavender cup.

I ended up getting Eevee (which apparently is Eievui in Japanese) who ended up being super adorable on top of its puffy white teacup.

Ahhh so cute, I still ask to this day why can’t Pokemon be real?? o__O